i Sebastiani-Scenario-Sausage

i Sebastiani 15 - Sausage [7M-5F]

Dramatis Personae	Properties
Pantalone, a merchant	A key
Lucrezia, his wife	Some sausage
Arlecchino, his servant	A large crate
Pedrolino, his servant
Isabella, his daughter
Franceschina, her maidservant
Dottore Graziano, a lawyer
Olivetta, his wife
Orazio, his son
Brighella, a scoundrel
Nespola, his wife
Capitano Spavento, a Spanish soldier

	Act I	Ravenna, daytime, a street corner near Pantalone's house
1	Pantalone Lucrezia	They discuss that their daughter should get married very soon. They review the qualifications of a good husband, but their ideas differ somewhat. Pantalone will compromise on any attribute, so long as the suitor is rich. Both exit.
2	Graziano Olivia	They discuss suitable wives for Orazio. Both exit.
3	Isabella Orazio	They do a love scene, and rhapsodize about a day when they won't have to keep their love a secret [mentioning Orazio's lack of worldly wealth].
4	Lucrezia Olivia	The old women see the lovers, but are not seen. The lovers exit. The old women hatch a plan whereby Lucrezia will borrow money from Pantalone's strongbox (to which she has an extra key) to give to Orazio to make him look rich. The old women exit.
5	Brighella Nespola	Brighella gloats about his recent exploits. Nespola wants him to lead an honest life. He dismisses all of her ideas. They exit.
6	Pantalone Isabella	Pantalone discusses marriage with Isabella. Attempting to be a comfort, he says his daughter will marry a rich man, or no man, Pantalone exits with confidence. Isabella frets.
7	Orazio	Orazio tries to do a love scene. She gives him the bad news. They lament for a while. Orazio exits.
8	Pedrolino	Isabella pleads with Pedrolino to solve her problems. Pedrolino's head hurts. Isabella exits.
9	Franceschina	She has finished her chores early and hints that Pedrolino could have a good time with her right now. He's wrapped up with Isabella's trouble and they do the lazzi increasingly obvious missed hints. Franceschina leaves in a huff. Pedrolino realizes what he missed; does his lazzi He exits in fast pursuit.
10	Lucrezia Arlecchino	Lucrezia gives Arlecchino a purse to give to Orazio, so he can look rich when he meets Pantalone. Exit Arlecchino.
11	Isabella	Lucrezia explains her plan. Isabella rejoices. Lucrezia exits.
12	Orazio	Orazio seems tragic. Isabella greats him with glee. She explains the plan. They do a love scene until Pantalone bellows offstage. The lovers exit.
13	Pantalone	Pantalone says he has been robbed. A large amount of cash is missing from his strongbox.
14	Graziano	Pantalone describes his problem. Graziano says he must hire a guard and hide the key. Graziano exits.
15	Arlecchino	Pantalone produces a key from someplace private on his person. He tells Arlecchino to hide it. Exit Pantalone. Arlecchino does lazzi of pride because he's trusted with the key.
16	Brighella	Brighella is carrying a huge crate. He sees Arlecchino's purse, and sells him the crate and its contents for the money that was meant for Orazio. Brighella exits.
17	Nespola	She sees the crate, and asks how much he paid for it. He tells her. She bemoans her husband's wickedness. Arlecchino commands her to watch the crate while he talks to Orazio. He exits.
18	Spavento	He greets Nespola. She talks about her wicked husband. She says she must guard the sausage. He gallantly offers to watch for her. She exits.
19	Pantalone	Spavento greets Pantalone. Pantalone hires him to guard his house. They both exit.
20	Orazio Arlecchino	Arlecchino says he has an important item for Orazio. Arlecchino delivers the key. Arlecchino exits, proud of himself. Orazio exits confused.

	Act II	Two days later, same street.
1	Graziano Olivia Orazio	Orazio reveals his love for Isabella to his parents. They advise him to be bold with Pantalone. Olivia says that Orazio has a gift and he knows what to do with it. Exit Graziano and Olivia. Orazio calls for Pantalone.
2	Pantalone Lucrezia	Orazio declares his love. Pantalone asks about his qualifications. Orazio describes the depths of his love and burning passions. Pantalone asks for real assets. Orazio says he has nothing. Lucrezia hints that he should use the gift. He produces the key. Lucrezia recognizes it before Pantalone sees it. She grabs it and declares Orazio unsuitable. She ushers Pantalone inside.
3	Isabella	She enters with glee. She expects her mother's plan has come to fruition, and they are betrothed. Orazio breaks the news, and they do tragic lazzi.
4	Pantalone Spavento	Pantalone tells Spavento that in addition to his other duties, he must keep Orazio away from his daughter. Pantalone exits. Spavento throws Orazio off stage. Isabella weeps tragically.
5	Franceschina	Franceschina interposes herself between Spavento and Isabella, and distracts him. Isabella exits. They do lazzi of Spavento trying to get around Franceschina. He fails miserably. Spavento exits. Franceschina exits.
6	Pedrolino Isabella	He complains that Franceschina is still mad at him. She laments about Orazio, and asks for help.
7	Arlecchino	He tells Pedrolino he has 500 pounds of sausage rotting in the sun. He asks Pedrolino for help. Pedrolino's head starts to hurt again. Exit Isabella. Exit Arlecchino.
8	Franceschina	She says Pedrolino has learned his lesson, and she forgives him. She approaches him. He has a headache. She is angry again, and chases him offstage. Exit Pedrolino.
9	Brighella Nespola	Brighella attempts to woo Franceschina in front of Nespola. Franceschina shuts him down. Exit Brighella. Franceschina is sympathetic to Nespola.
10	Lucrezia Olivia	They try to figure out what went wrong with the plan, how Orazio got the key to the strongbox, what to do with the annoying Spaniard, and why the street smells of ripening sausage. Nespola and Franceschina join in. Eventually a plan is hatched.
11	Spavento	Nespola pulls him aside and tells him the way to Isabella's heart is with a sausage. Spavento exits.
12	Brighella	Franceschina pulls Brighella aside and tells him that Pantalone has an insatiable craving for sausage at this time, and some wurstian generosity might get him to lower his guard. Brighella exits.
13	Orazio	Olivia tells Orazio that instead of heaving himself from the roof of the basilica, he should go into the sausage business with Arlecchino. Without asking why, he agrees. Orazio exits.
14	Arlecchino	Lucrezia compliments Arlecchino on his business acumen, and says the time is ripe to sell his sausage, but he needs a partner. She suggests Orazio. Arlecchino exits. The women look smug and all exit.

	Act III	The next day, the same street
1	Pantalone Isabella	Pantalone attempts to comfort his daughter, and fails miserably. Pantalone exits.
2	Orazio	Isabella sees him. He is full of hope. He says that they will be married because he will sell sausage with Arlecchino. Isabella exits staggering.
3	Arlecchino	They position themselves by the crate and begin to sell sausage. They stay in the background.
4	Graziano Spavento	Spavento tells Graziano that he must have a sausage. Graziano responds, but, in his way, is no help at all. Graziano exits. Spavento finally notices the sausage salesmen, and after being convinced that the aroma is a sign of quality, pays a high price for some sausage.
5	Franceschina	Spavento sees her and declares that he has what every proper suitor should have: a ripe sausage. She is a bit stunned, but then realizing what is going on, she convinces him to go buy more.
6	Pedrolino	He sees Franceschina, Spavento, and overhears about the sausage. He comes to the conclusion that he must ply her with gifts, and goes off to buy sausage. Franceschina, Spavento, and Pedrolino exit separately.
7	Brighella Nespola	Brighella details his plan to gain Pantalone's confidence with sausage, he orders Nespola to buy some. She says she doesn't know where, and that he has all the money. He says something misogynistic, and goes to the vendors himself. Exit Nespola. Brighella ungraciously agrees to pay a huge price for his sausage. Brighella Exits.
8	Graziano Olivia	Graziano says that he heard a rumor that Pantalone is partial to sausage. Graziano intends to bribe Pantalone with sausage to loan him money to buy some books. Olivia, surprised by the monster she has created, tries to dissuade him. She fails, becomes frustrated, and Olivia exits.
9	Pedrolino	Graziano asks him where he can buy sausage. Pedrolino tells him to keep away from Franceschina. Eventually they realize that they want their sausage for different purposes. They go to the sausage stand, and buy lots of sausage. Pedrolino and Graziano exit.
10	Pantalone Graziano	Graziano attempts to get on Pantalone's good side with the sausage, and fails. Pantalone rages and chases him off stage. Graziano exits.
11	Brighella	Brighella tries to win Pantalone's confidence with sausage. He fails worse than Graziano. Pantalone chases him off stage. Exit Pantalone and Brighella.
12	Franceschina Isabella	Isabella says that Orazio has gone mad. Franceschina does her best to calm her.
13	Spavento	Spavento enters with sausage. Franceschina send Isabella inside. Exit Isabella. Spavento tries to get by Franceschina with sausage. Franceschina exits in a huff.
14	Pedrolino	Pedrolino enters with sausage. He sees Spavento's and despairs because it is so much bigger than his. Pedrolino exits.
15	Graziano	No one is going to out-sausage il dotore! He demands an even bigger pile of sausage. The sausage is doled out. Pedrolino, Graziano, and Spavento exit.
16	Brighella Nespola	Brighella insults Nespola, and says she ruined his plan. She says maybe he needs more sausage. He goes to buy some. He demands sausage, but is told the crate is empty. Brighella makes an unkind remark, and bends over to look inside the crate. Nespola pushes Brighella in. Oratio locks the crate.
17	Pantalone Graziano	Graziano is in pursuit with sausage.
18	Spavento	Spavento presents his sausage as proof of his suitability to marry Isabella.
19	Isabella	Isabella hears her name, and enters. Spavento tries to ply her with sausage.
20	Franceschina	Franceschina runs interference for Isabella.
21	Lucrezia	Lucrezia enters and stays out of harm's way in the chaos.
22	Olivia	Olivia adds to the noise and chaos until Pantalone demands silence. He expresses concern that everyone in town has gone insane, and laments the breakdown in social order. Lucrezia "notices" (i.e. plants) the key on Spavento's person. Pantalone calls him a thief... Spavento makes an impassioned plea asking heaven for someone who would appreciate an honest honorable man. Nespola is very moved by the speech. Nespola and Spavento exit with passion.
23	Pedrolino	Pedrolino enters with sausage. He declares his love for Franceschina, this sausage being a sign of his inspiration. Franceschina says he is an idiot, but a good-hearted idiot. Exit Franceschina and Pedrolino. Pantalone demands to know who created this market for sausage. Lucrezia sits on Arlecchino so that Orazio can be presented as sole proprietor. Pantalone gives him his daughter Isabella. Orazio and Isabella exit. Pantalone and Graziano become friendly. Graziano offers sausage as a wedding gift. Pantalone says he hates sausage. Exit Pantalone and Graziano. Arlecchino complains that he didn't get credit for his genius. Olivia and Lucrezia point out that everyone abandoned their sausage, and he was welcome to it. In heaven, snatching all he can carry, Arlecchino exits.
24	Nespola Franceschina	They call to their offstage suitors, saying they'll be right back. The four women stare at the crate, and debate what to do with it. They decide to send it somewhere that would be poetic justice. Lucrezia will make the arrangements. The women say something funny and all exit.